Self-Esteem – Decide For Yourself Including Love

Why are things different life than you would like.

Likewise with me. My work , my dream , my happiness, in one fell swoop was different.
This blog is a little longer than usual, there is also much happened, I want to share! In life everyone has a responsibility to help themselves and to seek help if needed. Depending preparation and abuse of another often happens unconsciously.

“Self-esteem, respect and love, that’s important!”

Love, a relationship is a verb.

You meet someone, first there is love, admiration, is best taken together upwards, interest, enjoy. SO even in my relationship. Hubby had the pressure of his work and on weekends, he gave me all the attention, he showed me the most beautiful spots of the Costa Blanca, I learned to climb, the confrontation went by myself to get through the top of the Ifach too, by ups and downs, laughter and tears, patience and trust I got those too, 332 meters. We went to eat in the greatest restaurants, he cooked for me, we had interesting conversations, really everything was fine, I felt again woman I loved, did not feel that I look any happiness outside myself, it was again delicious after so many years alone.

In May, we came together officially, my friend, constructor, a man with golden hands, building and renovating houses, pools etc, he could make something out of nothing very beautiful. Besides the social I also have a downside, creative, home staging, home staging, Staging the home, help and decorating styles plus harmoniously bringing home with Feng Shui. Your home is actually your extension, your personality. There also was a nice combination, we were together a lot.

I was asked by a number of jobs, which was interesting and fun. Working with my partner, I learned new things, with stone mosaics, tiling a pool. It would be busy six weeks, yes I have known. I got accountability projects, gradually our life was suddenly out only work, sleep, eat and work again. evening entertainment I was devastated, not just dropped my head into my plate of food. Was that it? The relationship deteriorated, I felt more and more in my men shoot me energy.
The crowds we have not had time to focus the house cozy in to make our own home, build our foundation, a safe home. The relationship deteriorated further. I saw and felt that my friend fled in terror, his behavior, his pain, how much I wanted it, I could do anything with it. I wanted to help him but could not. As he increasingly closed to me in the resistance and in his own world, I became more and more away from myself. Unconsciously projecting his fears to me, I let this far so I became increasingly uncertain and harder, I shot in my survival, a hard shell so I could not be hurt. The energy flowed incorrectly.

I wanted the thread of my work picking up again, organizing Chakra Dance, coaching, treatment, work that gave me satisfaction, back in my soft and feminine energy. How much I advertised, no matter how hard I worked, there was no client in the new home,
however a customer to an energy treatment, then a plan Feng Shui including creation, painting and styling plus selling what healing scents. Here I was happy.

After yet another aggressive mood after consuming the necessary alcohol hubby I decided to choose for myself, I did not get belittle me and down, it was enough.
I value myself, my work gives some satisfaction .. so now a big step! We broke up, lived in the same house, along a lease and we both wanted to live in the beautiful Finca. In this circumstance did not live together, our egos went against each other once. I noticed that I was going to react even more aggressive action response. I decided to find something else, in late July, peak season, a difficult task.  Hubby was pulling and pushing, wanted me not really lost, meanwhile he was making the relationship to the piece, the familiar vicious circle, he called even though it itself. 10 days without alcohol, there was an improvement, however, the tension was still, I felt that we had to separate, even though I still felt love. His beautiful hand was great but damn alcohol and aggression always pushed us further apart. He knew that he needed professional help, I as a coach / therapist could not do that, I knew I could, but it just does not work between partners. After staying three days with friends, with dog and cat, I decided to confront. Not only for him, for the other men who had hurt me in the past. The strength of the Blue Full Moon helped me do that! I had an ancient fear a crisis over time, heal old pain. I believe in the forces and the cycle of the Moon!

Article about the impact full moon on July 31, 2015

Why should I leave? I would fight for my home, my life, live and work in a beautiful place, flights .. no never, I had already done several times! I was in one blow stronger, the power of positive thinking and stand up for myself! The instinct came up, I wanted the best for myself. I went to confront him with the call to go with him, the judge would decide who would be allowed to live in the house. I saw the fear and uncertainty behind his aggression, felt his bruised and aching body, he reacted violently, I was at that time not afraid because I myself was bigger, I was shaking inside, but did not show it, it made me even more powerful. Both egos went against each other furiously, swearing, gekleineer and aggression on his part and hardness and armor on my part. So we did not continue, but only came away more.

The judge ruled that I could continue to live in the house, hubby could leave. I felt I had fulfilled many of my past in one fell swoop. I had come to myself, I felt free, interdependent, I realized I had made me dependent on him, I put my work aside to work with him to help him because he needed me. Help give satisfaction in my job I help many people. But i gave too much away.

Alcohol, a major problem in Spain, it is widely available, and it costs less!

Well as I look back, I can only say, all events have a reason.
The Wednesday before I had a mood board with all my wishes for the coming year, my feelings of the moment, life what feels right, power, freedom, dancing, powerful, organize my work, retreats, everything is satisfying, with or without man.

IMG_9257 IMG_9256





That night, hubby started drinking again, it looked like he was scared, fear of my energy. From that moment I really stand up for myself and there were changes. Back no independent interdependent, do things yourself and protect myself!

A crisis there are often opportunities, new possibilities.
Hubby has contacted a therapist, he saw the severity of his problems in. He also offered me apologize for his behavior and what he had done to me. I was proud of him, this was for him a huge step. He talked about his fears, in addition, pain and sorrow and regret for what he had lost in one fell swoop. From love I could let it go now so he has time and space to work on his own too. Personally, I’m happy in my own energy, love for myself, no longer allow this behavior!

A crisis … is sometimes necessary for both parties.
I believe that sometimes to find violent events took place to wake up to.
In quarrels, relationship problems can be many old suffering to emerge, triggers from the past. Archetypes who take the upper hand, stories of others who play, looking through colored glasses, the anxiety is sabotage things, they all often happens unconsciously.
Action reaction … it goes from bad to worse, energy and emotion spilling over the other and which also produces behavior in others.
Often in the 1st instance to little things like …

  • less contact, less time for each other, pressed by various causes
  • less intimacy, thereby even more distance
  • less nice to do together, short fuse, snarling
  • feel insecure, bears see the road that are not there, fear of the past
  • not listen to each other, not more seriously each other
  • keep your mouth shut, keep sake of peace, for fear of hurting

which is all to solve!
Communication is the key, there are two or necessary parties.

My understanding
my spiritual path, where my hubby was afraid and he wanted to keep unaware of me. Too much I gave, I did unconsciously, that was a pattern in my past.
Effaced myself, unknowingly given him the power, that’s the past.
There was no communication between us, we increasingly drifted apart.

Also seen business!
What happened private influenced my work. Another energy was stronger than my energy. I unwittingly gave away my power. The energy now flowing back into me.
Now there is room for healthy egoism, “” First I ‘, I think fortunately still in love.
In 1st place for myself the love, unconditional love, I love myself as I am.
If another there is a problem then it is his fear, that I leave to others.

This I have done all
for weeks I’ve been working on my process. It took me a lot of energy, tears flowed freely, there was anger, misunderstanding, disappointment, rejection and the hardest of all to deal with letting go.
I am very grateful to the people who have supported me here plus the tools I have used. I made time to go through this process. First aid and heal myself so I then am better in my power to help another.

A conversation with a coach / therapist can help the blind spots to see
my dear friends and colleagues in addition, they listened to me, helped me see blind spots and negative beliefs to turn to the positive. They were always there for me, when they were / are in violent processes themselves.

Coached me through it .
Certain techniques I applied myself, I entered into dialogues have relaxation searched and made special exercises, always ground, making contact with mother earth go through daily walking barefoot too, reframing situations again by feeling the depths of pain and by works including groceries taken out, a lot of writing, therapeutic writing, it works great for me. Always do what I would do for another in this situation. Situations from the past that addressed getrickerd were addressed by this event, emotions and feelings. Michael was a mirror for me, together we were able to recover pieces, I am very grateful to him there!

Lots of dancing with Dance in Balance I k’m going to dance all seven chakras that the blockades that were healed were up. Sometimes I chose a particular chakra, then all seven, and I listened to the music if I had something important to do. Chakra Dance is the dance of the soul, while the dance is healing, I got boo
IMG_9419dschappen and saw signs, I could suddenly burst into tears and then got another huge energy boost. I was more open and came back home to myself. Especially the lower chakras are out of balance, basic, my foundation, overcoming my fears, regain confidence both in myself and in the Universe, of passive, low battery, back to the heroic warrior, fighting for my life, my own value, unconditional love and abundance, the throat chakra are honest, express my feelings well and drop myself and my job well. The dance was for myself and also for my work, so that energy again went well would be flowing and again customers.

Healing fragrances, 100% pure oil
Different oils and sprays I used during my treatment. I myself work along with sessions and treatments, well I sell it too.
The great Zadkiel, forgiveness and freely create, let go to me all by myself to focus, a roller I made for myself in court with Strength, Confidence, Mother Earth and My love, I’m in the room Budha spray and protection used for HSP and all my energies and impulses I get from large buildings, and Abundance for a good outcome.
In recent weeks I have used various oils that I needed, release, break strings, mother earth to ground and relax, balance and Clean energy to clean the house. In addition, the oil for the chakras, each day I looked at where I need to.
The power of gemstones, rose quartz many both inside and outside and the powerful triangle, rose quartz, rock crystal and amethyst.
Susie, a friend from Altea sells very powerful gems, we keep from Thursday together monthly open house day, she with her stone and I with the oils and the services I offer.

Therapeutic writing .
I started again with journal writing. Several years ago I attended a workshop with Christine de Vries’ contemplating writing. This workshop I had done myself a gift, the first day started with my birthday, for me that was very special. The book ‘Diary as a mirror “what we used, I now recaptured during training. Various methods of writing to let go, get insights, feelings in writing, (unsent) letter writing to describe emotions and everything express, short fairies questions I had where I answer given in writing.
For me, writing works well. As a child I wrote diaries full because I was not heard and this was an outlet for me. I made an appointment with myself to write every day, even if only a very small piece.

Assistance in Spain talks with police psychologist in Denia, Social worker in Senija and the dear doctor at the hospital in Benissa, they all helped me to defend myself and to keep to myself. Women in Spain are well protected!

Borders guard and emotional detachment, which is very important in the process.
I could receive benefits for 11 months for bridge. This meant that I can not work 11 months and my Autonomo (ZZP) had to give up. I decided not to do this, it was initially not enough to make ends meet and also I wanted to have me not dependence but confidence in myself and in the future, work will naturally flow again and my work I get so much satisfaction, I work out of passion!

Feng Shui – the balance and harmony back into myself and my house
Immediately I started with the addition of Feng Shui, the plan this year, the goat year, had not worked, I discovered that the illness star at the front door was and hassle star in the area of our bed and was also in the hall where the aggression usually arose.
It gave me a lot of attachments, I know what the power and efficacy of Feng Shui.
I will continue to go here by a special blog to write about feng shui.

Mistakes can be learned, in fact, you have to make mistakes to move forward, which is good for the processes of life, for inner growth. You are master and apprentice in life.

“I keep to myself” – “I believe in solutions” – “I believe in the goodness of man”

Moments of lovingly let go!
Acknowledging it happened, acceptance of which is eventually released.
But also recognize my emotions, accept it and finally let go.
Letting go is also forgiving so that the energy in the other direction may flow.
Do not linger in what has been, that is history, now it’s time for currency is ahead!
All this is very important to go through!

My commitment
“I only go for the best!”

OWN VALUE – there it is again, this is so important!
I value MYSELF – what I think is important and what is good for me!
I value my lovely person and my path that I follow
I value my friends and family
I value a nice house and socializing
I value my dear creatures
I value my fine work and work at home
, I attach value freedom, things, express myself, also free to live, free show another
list I can complement other things with some .. and you?

Does this mean that hubby actually wake up and go do the reversal, I am certainly very happy and grateful. I saw the beauty in him, well I saw his fear, his pain, his resistance, fight and fled. I believe in change and inner growth. In addition, I also believe in letting go Lovingly, others give time and space to learn the lessons needed to let go and trust that all is well!

Through this event, I want to put more in me for women to come into their own power too. 
My dream, my wish, the reason I’ve gone to Spain.
Continue my work here, coach / therapy sessions, Chakra Dance, Healing Treatments, organize the healing scents, retreats (including individual), all to free people up to do, blockages and to accompany their growth.
In addition, the house, the extension of the personality, everything is energy, Feng Shui does a lot. Housing & Welfare balance !!!

Do you suffer from anxiety, blockages, patterns and get there no matter please contact us for a free initial meeting, we then see together what the possibilities are.
This can also Skype – Alexandra Langeveld – Life Coach

Waking – The “Awakening”
October 22 launch another nine week cycle Chakra Dance 

Experience the seven keys to free yourself … ..   experience the 7 keys to liberate yourself
from September every 2nd and last week of the month, various groups – Chakra Dance

Celebrating Full Moon each month during full moon –
a three-hour workshop, meditation, dance and art Mandala. 

Various themed events
– New Moon; themes that play around the moon and also develop goals and desires, time for a new phase of trial.
– Meditations, learn to balance the chakras, using healing fragrances
– themes that are important at this time, sexuality, male-female energy, work, self-love

Healing – various treatments
Reiki and magnetizing sessions, even remotely.
Energy Treatment to become empowered to, this includes the healing scents.